Translated by: Tinker
Song Luan was properly placed in the room. She curled up, buried her face between her legs, her body trembling slightly.
Soon after, Zhao Nanyu opened the door and walked to her with the medicine. His tall body covered the light in front of her. Song Luan raised her face, her eyes were flushed, and she pitifully tugged his sleeves, shaking. “Can you think of a way? I can’t. I really can’t.”
She couldn’t kill her own child by herself.
Zhao Nanyu felt uncomfortable, and was numb after being hit by the truth. “Do you remember that you were poisoned before?”
“Yeah.”
He poisoned her.
“The remaining poison is unclear. Even if you and your child are safe in the future, he will not live long, or he will be born disabled.”
Song Luan whispered, her nails pierced her palms, but she could not feel the pain.
So this was it ah.
It turned out that no matter how hard she tried, it was useless.
Zhao Nanyu hugged her and fed the medicine into her mouth little by little. She obediently drank the whole bowl of medicine, pouring the bitter medicine through her throat into her abdomen.
Before long, there was no blood on Song Luan’s face, her lips were pale, and bursts of pain surged, as if someone was holding a knife while stirring her lower abdomen. It was so painful that she could not speak.
Her bottom skirt was stained red with blood, and the smell of blood in the room became stronger.
Crystal tears flowed uncontrollably from the corners of her eyes. Zhao Nanyu hugged her, his heart twisted and he said in a hoarse voice, “You’ll be better soon, Don’t be afraid.”
Song Luan raised her neck and eyelids laboriously.
She originally wanted to say “I hate you”, but after thinking about it, the decision he made was reasonable.
“It’s so painful. It hurts, Zhao Nanyu.”
He wiped the tears from the corners of her eyes, and said to her ears over and over again. “I am here. I am here.”
The blood was constantly flowing, which shocked Zhao Nanyu. “It’s okay. It will be well soon.”
The extreme pain made her delirious. Why did this happen to her? Did she do something wrong?
She blinked at Zhao Nanyu, angrily, “You can’t keep me, I still have to go.”
“You also saw what the book I left for you?” She laughed lowly. “I said before that I like you, but that was all just a lie.”
Song Luan was suffocated for too long. She was bound by the plot of the male lead, and the severe pain in her lower abdomen made her feel that she was about to die.
She simply said everything she wanted to say at once, “I don’t like you, no one will be better for you.”
Huai Jin and He Run were much better than him.
She couldn’t shake the line of fate of the original owner.
“I’m not afraid of you. My father is a high official and my brother spoils me. After I get better, I will leave you without looking back.” Her voice became lower and she gritted her teeth, “I just want to find a good man.”
Song Luan looked at the painful expression on Zhao Nanyu’s face.
After venting, the pain in the lower abdomen gradually improved.
She was sweating profusely, and she was lying in the arms of Zhao Nanyu with a pale face. She did not resist the intense pain. Song Luan closed her eyes and fell asleep.
The blood under her body finally stopped. Zhao Nanyu washed her and put on a set of clean clothes for her.
His brain swelled and his eyes tightened. With every breath, his throat and heart seemed to be cut open by a knife, and he couldn’t stand upright in pain.
The faint yellow candle illuminated her beautiful face. Zhao Nanyu looked at her face obsessively. He suddenly remembered the words written on the book she gave him, and remembered who she wanted to find today. Every word she said poked his heart.
Zhao Nanyu’s eyes were deep and bottomless, and his cold palms covered her ankles.
He whispered in her ear, “Mhm, you’re mine.”
***
Song Luan slept in bed unconsciously for three or four days while being fed with water every day.
She still somehow remembered the deep hoarse voice in her ears whenever she was half-awake.
When she opened her eyes, it was already the second day of the new year. Because it was snowing heavily outside, the windows and the doors were tightly closed. Song Luan sat up from the bed, her face pale as paper, and her slender fingers squeezed the sheets under her. Her eyelashes trembled as she raised her eyelids to look around.
There was no one in the room.
There was no discomfort except for having no strength and stamina.
She moved her legs and heard a series of Jingling bells. Song Luan lifted the quilt and looked at the silver chain on her ankles.
She was stunned for a second before she laughed.
See, all her guesses and worries were coming true.
The male lead is a sick dog.
The door was opened with a squeak. A man in a dark suit came in, and the wind that came from the opening of the door dissipated some of the room’s heat.
Song Luan’s blank eyes suddenly became clear. She tried to pull the chain around her feet.
Her face was ugly, and her tone was rather harsh, “Untie it.”
Zhao Nanyu sat down beside her in silence, gently stroked her face, and smiled weakly, “You finally woke up.”
His eyes were also haggard, and his lips were pale. It seemed that his life was not easy when she was in bed for two days.
The unborn child was also Zhao Nanyu’s flesh and blood. He once sincerely looked forward to this baby’s coming.
The poison was caused by himself. The child was killed by himself.
His heart was not made of stone, how could it not hurt? The tip of his heart felt like it was in a thorn-like barb. If he wanted to take it out, it would hurt more.
Holding a bowl of porridge, Zhao Nanyu continued, “Eat something first.”
Although Song Luan had no strength, she looked up at him with her chin up, “You untie it.”
Since Zhao Nanyu acted like he had not heard it, Song Luan lowered her head and bit him fiercely on his wrist. Her sharp teeth deeply pierced his flesh skin, and blood started to trickle down.
Zhao Nanyu didn’t seem to feel pain, because his eyebrows didn’t even wrinkle.
Song Luan was a little frustrated. She seemed to understand the reason why Zhao Nanyu was so cautious. In fact, she was so delirious now that she couldn’t remember everything he had said.
She smiled weakly and looked at Zhao Nanyu’s eyes very calmly. No could even find any resentment against him in her eyes. “What I said that day was nonsense. You can untie it. I won’t run.”
Song Luan took a deep breath and said, “I’m like this now. What do you want to do?”
Her words were like a sharp sword, which pierced directly to his heart.
Song Luan reminded Zhao Nanyu from time to time that it was he who harmed her.
Song Luan wanted him to understand that she wouldn’t sneak away in the future. Nothing good would come out from it.
Wasn’t she still married to him?
The blood color on Zhao Nanyu’s face gradually faded. He lowered his eyes, took out key, and untied her shackles without saying a word.
Song Luan didn’t look at him. She laid down again, with her back to him. “I don’t want to eat.”
Zhao Nanyu thought that she would wake up crying and yelling at his nose, but she was calm as if nothing had happened, and he couldn’t see any resentment in her eyes against him.
She had no feelings for him.
Zhao Nanyu forced a smile in his pale face. “How would you eat these days? Don’t harm your body.”
Song Luan turned around, looked at him straight in the eyes, and mockingly smiled, “If you go out, I’ll eat.”
Zhao Nanyu humbly replied, “Okay.”
As soon as he left, grandma Lin came in with her lunch. She waited carefully as she watched her eat two bowls of porridge before taking off the table.
Song Luan put on a coat and got out of bed. The house was full of charcoal and fire, and she didn’t feel cold at all. Song Luan wanted to open the window to let in air, but she was stopped by grandma Lin, “Madam, it’s cold outside. It will harm your body.”
She nodded, the body was her own, but she couldn’t let other people worry about her health…
Zhao Nanyu also knew that Song Luan didn’t want to see him. She still stayed and ate in her room three meals a day.
After a few days, seeing her face gradually become more and more rosy, Zhao Nanyu said, “The Lantern Festival is coming soon. The street will be very busy that night, and you will certainly like it. “
Song Luan showed a lack of interest, “Oh.”
When she woke up, she found that his jade pendant was perfectly worn on her neck. Song Luan was indifferent to this, because whatever she does, she couldn’t defeat Zhao Nanyu.
He held her from his back and gently put his hands on her waist. Zhao Nanyu put his chin on her shoulder. “Don’t you like it?”
Song Luan’s body turned stiff, her eyes didn’t know where to look, “I’m wondering if the baby is a boy or a girl?”
She and Zhao Nanyu are not bad in terms of looks. If it was a girl, she must be very lovely. If it was a boy, he should be as smart as little Zhao.
Zhao Nanyu choked and couldn’t speak. When he recovered, he was about to open his mouth, when he heard Song Luan say, “Well…well, we won’t talk about this.”
It’s just a two-way street.
***
The news of Song Luan’s miscarriage was known to everyone in the house, just like when she got pregnant.
Third lady Zhao almost fainted when she heard the news. The last time when she went back to see her, wasn’t she and her baby doing okay? How could the child disappear in a twinkling of an eye? Ah Yu was so strict again. It shouldn’t be.
She wanted to visit, but Ah Yu refused her.
Third lady Zhao saw that he was also haggard.
For more than ten years that she lived with him, Ah Yu’s being depressed was really rare. She patted him on the shoulder, and could only comfort him by saying, “You are still young. There will be children in the future. Don’t be too sad.”
Zhao Nanyu gently pulled the corners of his mouth, but couldn’t laugh.
No, not in my life.
“When Ah Luan is better, I hope mother can talk with her.” Zhao Nanyu said in a low voice.
Third lady Zhao felt that her stepson was rather pitiful, so she nodded, “Don’t worry.”
“Thank you, mother.”
***
This year, Song Luan lived a quiet life.
On the third day of the new year’s day, the old lady asked her to have dinner with her. Song Luan cleaned herself up very beautiful and put on her makeup to suppress her pale face.
Compared with the few days ago, she was much thinner, and her clothes all looked big on her body.
She didn’t know if the old lady pitied her, but this time, her eyes softened a lot, and she didn’t say anything weird.
Both the first lady Zhao and the second lady Zhao were talking happily. Song Luan only drank chicken soup, and didn’t intend to get into their topic, but they always wanted to mention her.
The second lady pretended to ask, “Is Ah Luan in good health? This miscarriage is not a trivial matter. If it was not taken care well, it might grow to a serious disease in the future.”
Song Luan placed down the spoon in her hand and laughed at the second lady, as she said bitterly, “I’m good. Don’t be disappointed.”
The second lady’s face changed and she gave her a look. “Why do you talk like that? Your aunt cares about you.”
Care? Song Luan just wanted to sneer.
Even the old lady didn’t make fun with her miscarriage, but this second lady had a mouth in her ear.
“Then, I’m bothering you.”
The old lady interrupted them coldly, “Enough. Let’s eat our meal.”
After the meal, the second wife still didn’t intend to stop. Her voice was so loud that she didn’t know who she was talking to, “My son has three children. He is younger than Ah Yu. In the past two days, I heard that one of his concubines was pregnant again. He also had a good wife. She was generous, good-natured and obedient.”
When the two wives, and others around them sighed, they didn’t forget to glance at Song Luan. “If a man marries a wife, she should be a virtuous person. If the wife is not good-natured, the husband can’t take it.”
The first lady glanced at her secretly and said with profound meaning, “I remember that Ah Yu never had a concubine?”
Who didn’t have a concubine room in this world? If a man takes a good concubine, he must take her in a sedan chair.
The first lady didn’t want to get involved in Zhao Nanyu’s affairs. Whether he accepts a concubine or not had nothing to do with her.
Now that her eldest son had returned to the capital, Song Luan was shamelessly seducing her eldest son. Although she had not intensified her strength, her nature had not changed. What if she wanted to hook up with her son again?
With Song Luan’s beauty, it was not impossible for her eldest son to be confused. Therefore, the eldest lady wanted to use the opportunity to coax the old lady to give Zhao Nanyu a concubine and give Song Luan a stumbling block, so that she had no energy to hook up with others.
The truth was, Song Luan couldn’t wait for Zhao Nanyu to take a concubine. Who could stand him?
She said with a smile, “This wife is not jealous. I’m weak and often can’t serve my husband well. I also want to find two young girls to serve him.”
The old lady coughed twice. “Well, don’t worry about this.”
Song Luan understood that the old lady had a plan in mind.
Before leaving, the old lady asked her servant to bring her a box of first-class ginseng from the house. After all, it was her wish. Song Luan didn’t refuse, and she took the things and said thanks in a low voice.
When Zhao Nanyu returned home late at night, Song Luan was still awake. She sat barefoot on the bed, while holding her chin, as she told him about today’s affairs like it was a joke. “Lord Zhao [m] respectful but rather distant tone to address Zhao Nanyu [/m] has a lot of good fortune. Grandmother is planning to take two concubines just for you.”
Zhao Nanyu didn’t seem to hear what she said. He quietly put on her socks for her and placed them back in the quilt. “Don’t get cold.”
Song Luan, as opposed to him, kicked off the quilt with a smile in her eyes. “Are you not moved when you hear about the many beauties?”
Zhao Nanyu’s eyes were fixed on her face. He wanted to find a trace of jealousy and unwillingness in her eyes, but there was no such thing. Her eyes were as clean as a spring water, clear, and smooth. It seems that she just really wanted to tell him the news.
“It has nothing to do with me.”
Song Luan exclaimed, “You are really heartless.”
Zhao Nanyu looked pale while curling up his fingers. He couldn’t help saying, “You don’t care about me much.”
Song Luan blinked at him, “I care.”
A liar.
In fact, her acting skills were very poor. Maybe she didn’t even want to hide it from him.
Zhao Nanyu’s eyes darkened, and was hurt by her strike.
His breath seemed to have a bloody smell, and his throat was extremely hoarse. “Okay, sleep.”
Song Luan was lying in the innermost part of the bed with a quilt rolled up. The paper lamp on the head of the bed illuminating a dim light.
She said, “Let’s go out and have a look on the day of the Lantern Festival.”
Zhao Nanyu’s heart trembled, and he put out the light, and said, “Okay.”
“Let’s go with my brother together.”
She just wanted to see Song Heqing, since she was kept in the house. She didn’t know when she could go out again, since she had seen Zhao Nanyu crazy appearance once. Tying her foot and wrist with chain was really not good. She didn’t want to experience it again.
Wasn’t he fond of good and flowery words? Then she would grant it.
She said thousand times ten thousand words, all of them were fake. Because of her clumsy acting skills, she didn’t believe that Zhao Nanyu couldn’t see it’s a lie. If he was willing to fool himself, she didn’t care.
With more than ten days to go before the Lantern Festival, Song Luan was not interested in his affairs. During the day, she slept more than she wakes up.
The day before the Lantern Festival, she saw the gold and silver jewelry in the cabinet, and was stunned for a moment. She remembered what Zhao Nanyu had said, and his expression at that time to her.
She carefully threw all the things picked out from Zhao Nanyu’s storeroom to the other side. After throwing them, there was not much left in the box.
When Zhao Nanyu came back, he saw that she had thrown all those things away without saying anything. She was wearing thin clothes, and was standing by the window to get some air. He wrapped his cloak around her tightly. “Be careful of the cold wind.”
Song Luan was locked in his arms, and could smell his scent, “I’m not cold.”
“I’m afraid you’ll be cold.”
Song Luan shut up immediately.
He bought her some snacks that she liked to eat. Song Luan didn’t touch it, only giving a glance before ignoring it completely. He turned around and ordered people to throw it away.
Zhao Nanyu looked dimly in the corner, his face becoming tensed, and said nothing.
In the evening, Song Luan tossed and turned in the bed. She was not yet sleepy.
Zhao Nanyu held her in his arms, kissed her lips, and hummed softly.
Song Luan closed her eyes while laying in his arms, and fell asleep faintly.
This lullaby was often sung by his mother when he was a child.
Zhao Nanyu looked down at the woman in his arms and held her tighter.
T/N: My heart ached for ZN…but SL had it hard..she was forced to abort her child.. *sighs*
