Translated by: Tinker

Proofread by: Mary

Zhao Nanyu squeezed the hairpin she had handed to him. The other end of the silver hairpin was sharp, and it was easy to pierce a person’s throat with it. In a low voice, he asked, “When did you discover it?”

Song Luan slowly said, “It didn’t take long for me to guess.” She smiled, and looked relaxed, “I’m too uncomfortable. Please help me.”

Zhao Nanyu hugged her tighter, refusing to let her go from his arms. He gritted his teeth and said, “I won’t.”

As expected, Song Luan had long guessed that he would not agree, she only sighed and said nothing.

She had other plans, but Zhao Nanyu seemed to know all her thoughts since long ago. All the sharp objects around Song Luan were put away, not giving her any chance to die.

In fact, Song Luan was very timid and afraid of pain. She didn’t have enough courage to commit suicide. However, the pain in her heart made her toss and turn, and there wasn’t a moment where she was comfortable. The desire for relief gave her the courage to die.

She rummaged through all corners of the cabinet, but could not find anything that could be used to kill herself. Song Luan sat on the ground with disheveled hair and a dispirited expression.

When Zhao Nanyu came in, she took the initiative to put her hand around his neck, gave him a kiss on his face, and said in a low voice, “Don’t you love me? I’m begging you.”

Zhao Nanyu was indifferent, carried her back to bed, and covered her with a quilt. He looked at her eyes and asked, “What would you like to eat tonight?”

Song Luan was like a disinflated balloon. In the past two days, Zhao Nanyu deliberately refused to talk about it. She kicked aside the quilt and said, “I don’t want to eat. I’ll starve to death.”

Starvation was also a way to die, but it was not very respectable.

“Didn’t you want to eat roast duck last time? Let’s eat this tonight.”

While touching her hair, he said, “But you can’t eat it when it’s too hot, or you will not be able to stand it.”

Song Luan swallowed very hopelessly.

***

As Zhao Nanyu tried everything possible, Song Luan’s body did not see a slight improvement, and it decayed more and more. She could not sleep without relying on the tranquilizing soup, but if she drank the medicine, she often could not wake up easily.

Once, Song Luan had slept for a full day and had not woken up. At that time, Zhao Nanyu’s face was extremely ugly. He shook her hand and probed her nose. Fortunately, she still had a faint breath.

After this happened, he wouldn’t let Song Luan drink tranquilizing soup.

Zhao Chao sent medicine to relieve the pain. For the first time, Song Luan was surprised to find that it didn’t hurt much.

But Zhao Nanyu didn’t seem to be very happy either. This medicine couldn’t cure it at all, and its effectiveness was limited. If it was used too much, it would gradually not work, and the power of the side effect was also great.

***

As spring was about to pass, Zhao Wenyan’s wedding date arrived as promised.

Song Luan ordered someone to dress her up, especially putting on beautiful new clothes. The delicate makeup covered her tired face. Zhao Nanyu didn’t want her to join in the event, but Song Luan refused. She was rarely so happy, so he turned a blind eye.

Zhao’s residence had not been so lively for a long time. Many guests came to the wedding day.

After the ceremony, the bride was led to the bridal chamber.

Song Luan knew some people among them, and she counted them with her fingers.

Zhao Nanyu, Zhao Wenyan’s elder brother, naturally couldn’t walk away. He was busy dealing with all the people.

Zhao Wenyan in red wedding clothes looked very decent. His lines were softer, and there was shallow joy in the tip of his eyes.

He took both the gold title in the imperial list, and the bridal chamber candle. Naturally, he was happy.

After watching the excitement for a while, Song Luan felt tired, and even yawned twice. The third lady Zhao said to her, “Are you tired? Go back and rest. It’s enough to have me here.”

Song Luan held up her eyelids, shook her head, and said, “I can still hold on. I haven’t seen the bridal chamber yet. I’ll wait.”

Third lady Zhao couldn’t laugh nor cry, “What’s so good about the bridal chamber?”

Third lady Zhao’s face was stiff from smiling all day on her son’s wedding day. She had to meet every guest with a smile.

Song Luan’s eyes were full of laughter. “I just thought it’s fun.”

Third lady Zhao let Song Luan sit on the couch, and ordered her servant girl to carry tea and water. Zhao Nanyu entrusted Song Luan to her on this day, she certainly wouldn’t let her have an accident.

As she fanned her, she said, “I told them in advance that we should not make too much trouble this year. I remember the year when you and Ah Yu got married, there was a lot of trouble. “

At first, only a very few people knew about Song Luan’s marriage to Zhao Nanyu, and at that time, their cousins and brothers were in cahoots, and made trouble.

(T/N: The italicized paragraph below was the event of Song Luan and Zhao Nanyu’s wedding. I just felt I needed to do a quick note since I was confused at this time when translating. I thought it was Zhao Wenyan’s wedding event.)

 Several ignorant teenagers stood by the door, listening carefully.

There was no sound in the room, and they began to whisper, “What’s going on?”

“My cousin doesn’t know what to do in his wedding night, and he can’t talk sweet nothings at night, right?”

“Yes, yes, I have seen the appearance of sister-in-law with my own eyes. It’s not an exaggeration to say that she is a fairy in the sky. She is very beautiful.”

After waiting for a while, they still didn’t hear anything. There was a courageous suggestion, “Let’s knock open the door and have a look? Give them a fright!”

“You’re going to die, in case they have…”

“No, it can’t be that there is no sound at all?”

Several pairs of black eyes looked at it, and finally nodded, “I’ll count down–three, two, one!”

A group of young people burst open the door of the new house, and a group of people giggled as they raised their eyes to see two people sitting on the side of the room. They didn’t look nor paid attention to each other.

Their cousin was sitting at the desk by the window, writing with a brush in his hand, and no one knew what he was writing.

The new sister-in-law had already changed her wedding dress. She was dressed in scarlet clothes and sat at the round table with her back straight and upright. When she saw them, she still did not change her face and continued to eat.

The teenagers found that the new sister-in-law seemed to be a cold beauty. She refused to smile, and her cold eyes were comparable to their cousin’s.

The young and ignorant young man said, “Cousin, how can you be so far away from sister-in-law! If we don’t see what we want to see, we won’t leave tonight.”

Zhao Nanyu frowned, “Don’t make trouble.”

“Well, we can’t do that. We won’t let you do it easily today.”

Zhao Nanyu’s eyebrows twisted deeper. After careful thinking, he felt helpless, “What do you want?”

It’s not that the teenagers were unaware of the strange atmosphere in the room. Several people didn’t dare to make too much noise. “We want to see cousin drink wine with sister-in-law!”

Zhao Nanyu walked to Song Luan with a cold face, and sat down slowly. He filled two glasses of wine with his own hands, and said in a low voice, “Come on.”

Song Luan endured the anger and drank the wine with him.

“I’ve drunk the wine, but how come I still have to kiss you!”

With a ‘pa’ sound, Song Luan threw the empty wine cup on the table and sneered. She was quite dissatisfied.

“All right, stop it and get out.” Zhao Nanyu said lightly.

The crowd retreated from the room. After closing the door, they heard the quarrel in the room.

“Zhao Nanyu, what do you mean?! Are you trying to humiliate me!?”

Song Luan listened to third lady Zhao and smiled twice. It turned out that this happened when they got married.

“Girls should be thin skinned. They really can’t be too aggressive.”

“Well, my daughter-in-law is also timid and obedient. As long as she has Ah Yan in her heart, and can treat him well, then the stone in my heart will be lifted.”

Song Luan failed to see the bridal chamber as she wanted, because Zhao Nanyu went out from the hall and looked for her. “It’s late. Go back and have a rest.”

“Oh, don’t be so cold and heartless. I’ll go back when I have enough fun.”

“No.”

Song Luan stomped her feet angrily. She was sleepy a while ago and had to endure it, but now that she was not sleepy anymore, Zhao Nanyu had to come and take her back.

It’s annoying.

“I won’t go. If you have the ability, you carry me back.” Zhao Nanyu did not say much. He took her leg, lifted her to his shoulder, and forcibly carried her back to the residence.

Song Luan complained, “You are so rude! I hate it.”

Zhao Nanyu held her down nonchalantly, “Well, I’m rude.”

Song Luan grabbed a handful of his hair and said angrily, “I haven’t seen the appearance of the bride yet.”

The bride was hidden under the red veil, and she couldn’t see anything.

Zhao Nanyu squatted in front of her, took off her shoes and socks. “You can see her tomorrow.”

The new daughter-in-law would come to greet them.

Song Luan was blocked up by him.

After drinking medicine, she rolled up her quilt and turned her back to him. He did not feel tired at all, but soon fell into a deep sleep.

The next day, the bride came to offer tea.

Zhao Wenyan’s wife was also beautiful. She was a beautiful girl with bright eyes and bright teeth.

The little girl timidly called her second sister-in-law, as she handed the big red bag she prepared in advance.

Third lady Zhao coughed twice and asked, “Were you tired last night?”

The little girl blushed and said, “No..no.”

And she quickly explained “My husband was very understanding with me.”

She was so young that she had just reached the maturity age.

Ruan Sheng looked at Song Luan carefully. The second sister-in-law deserved her reputation. She was really beautiful.

Song Luan was also aware of her gaze. She was caught off guard and laughed at her mischievously. “I know I’m beautiful, you’ll have to stare at me all the time.”

Ruan Sheng was caught on the spot and blushed.

Song Luan thought that this sister-in-law was really lovely. Who didn’t like cute girls? No wonder Zhao Wenyan, who had both a bad temper and arrogant personality, couldn’t help but like her.

***

Song Luan got along well with Ruan Sheng. It seemed that Ruan Sheng also liked her a lot, since she often went to her room to talk with her. She was in a good mood.

But Zhao Chao’s painkillers have begun to fail. The pain in the chest only subsided in less than half a month, and then it returned. This time the pain was a hundred times worse than before.

Song Luan couldn’t get out of bed anymore. Zhao Nanyu also did not allow others to see her. He stood alone in front of her bed and wiped her sweat with a handkerchief.

She couldn’t sleep all night, and living became a kind of torment, just like the picture she had dreamt of–the woman lying in bed became her.

When Ruan Sheng finally came to see her, Song Luan looked pale and seemed to be about to fall down any time. She leaned against the pillow and talked to her with great effort.

As long as she exerted strength, it would only hurt more.

Her eyes were moist. “Sheng Sheng, would you do me a favor?”

“What is it?”

“Next time you come, bring me a knife, okay?” Zhao Nanyu refused to kill her, but she didn’t want to continue to suffer.

Ruan Sheng shook her head in tears.

Song Luan pulled out an ugly smile and said, “Look at me now, it’s more painful to live. I don’t want to lie to you. I want this knife so I can die.”

She added, “It doesn’t matter if you don’t agree.”

She didn’t want to embarrass Ruan Sheng, but there was no way.

Ruan Sheng was in a dilemma. She didn’t know what to do.

Zhao Nanyu walked in at this moment. Without even looking at Ruan Sheng, he directly told her to get out.

Song Luan regretted that she would never see Ruan Sheng anymore.

“Don’t be angry with her.”

“If she does bring you a knife, I will kill her myself.”

She knew that Zhao Nanyu would do it once he said it.

Song Luan was in extreme pain at night.

She opened her mouth and bit his flesh fiercely. There were several teeth marks left on Zhao Nanyu’s wrist. He was a monster who was not afraid of being bitten.

“I can’t sleep. I can’t. You let me die.” Song Luan was sweating with pain and staring at him with red eyes. Her words were extremely hurtful. “I hate you. Why should I bear this? You can just simply give me relief!”

Zhao Nanyu gave her medicine, so Song Luan was able to have a good sleep.

His heart was already numbed with pain.

Song Luan was getting thinner and thinner. She couldn’t eat much food these days.

Now it was useless to give her a knife because she had lost the strength to commit suicide.

She leaned in Zhao Nanyu’s arms, and wondered in anger, “Zhao Nanyu, please feel sorry for me. It’s better for me to die than to live like this. Can’t you take it as a good thing?”

“Don’t you like me? Are you lying to me? Are you willing to see the person you love suffer from this kind of torture?”

Song Luan didn’t want to cry. She couldn’t control her tears, and they kept pouring out.

She raised her neck and dropped a soft kiss on his lips. “Well, okay?”

“You poisoned me. What do you regret?! Isn’t it okay to kill me?”

Zhao Nanyu couldn’t breathe, his brain was dull and his eyes were sour. He couldn’t say a word.

After saying these words, Song Luan fell into a coma from pain. It was dusk when she woke up again. Zhao Nanyu led little Zhao’s hand and walked in.

Song Luan’s heart relaxed at the moment. She knew that Zhao Nanyu had decided to let her go.

Zhao Nanyu let go of little Zhao’s hands, and said in a hoarse voice, “Go and talk to your mother.”

Little Zhao’s eyes were red and swollen. It seemed that he had already cried. Song Luan held him and said, “You grew tall again.”

Little Zhao wanted to be held by her, but he dared not touch her. His black and white eyes obstinately stared at his mother, for fear that once he closed his eyes, he would never see his mother again.

Song Luan’s only comfort was probably her son.

“You should study hard. Don’t ignore people in the future. Don’t act like your father because your face won’t be cute at all.”

“Mother.”

“Although I want you to study hard, I don’t want you to turn into a bookworm. You still need to make some playmates. Little Zhao is so lovely that many people will like you.” Song Luan said slowly.

When he cried, Song Luan wiped his tears with her sleeves. “Don’t cry. Your mother likes you best.”

She did not have the spirit to continue to talk anymore. Zhao Nanyu called grandma Lin to carry little Zhao out.

The moment the door closed, all the remaining light disappeared.

Zhao Nanyu walked forward two steps. He held Song Luan’s back and helped her up.

Song Luan leaned lazily against his chest, looking relaxed and serene.

The man took out a dagger from his sleeve, held the handle as he trembled slightly.

Song Luan closed her eyes lightly, and her breath was weak. “I don’t blame you.”

As she had dreamt countless times, Zhao Nanyu would stab her heart. The plot never spared her even a little bit.

In a trance, Song Luan felt that there were crystal drops falling on her cheek.

His tears slipped past as the warm light reflected on his white face.

His arms hugged her so tightly that it could almost suffocate her. He sighed silently, “It will be alright soon.”

T/N: This is heart-wrenching…it is wonderfully written that I am convinced that I should translate more of this author’s stories.