Translated by: Tinker
Song Luan didn’t have much strength since she just woke up. She was tired so she leaned against the pillow.
Her face was cold as she looked at Zhao Nanyu’s stiff face. With a haggard look, the corner of her mouth curled upwards and chuckled, “Men are cruel, but I can understand. To become king, the means to an end is always cruel. The outcome is also unstable.”
Therefore, killing his wife was nothing for him. She was just one of the stepping stones on his way to the top.
Song Luan didn’t lie. Her heart was empty and at loss, but she was not sad or affected. It was like reading other people’s stories.
Zhao Nanyu felt that every word in her mouth was gouging out his heart. She might as well curse him.
He opened his mouth and his throat was a little painful. At this moment, whatever he would say would not mean anything. Evading the truth was useless. There was no denying that it was indeed something he had done.
Song Luan lowered her head as if she didn’t want to see his face any longer. Her long hair covered half of her face. She laughed and said, “But you were cruel to both my parents and brother.”
Thinking of the noble and incomparable prince in her dream, Song Luan was a little uncomfortable. Her brother loved her very much and had been protecting her since she was born.
In the end, it ended up with their deaths, which was terrible.
Zhao Nanyu’s throat was already so sore, now his eyes were getting red. He explained word by word. “I didn’t kill your father, mother, and brother.”
It wasn’t him. It was the southwest king’s army.
The secret passage from the palace was that he told the marching general that the head of the prince’s highness was also cut off by his deputy general.
He disclosed the secret passage of the palace but it was the southwest king’s army who attacked her parents. It was also the deputy general of the army who cut the prince’s head.
But all these things had already happened.
Song Luan felt that he didn’t have to lie to her. She nodded to show that she knew, and said, “Maybe they were afraid that I would come to you and would refuse to leave, so they lied to me.”
Her parents and brother lied to her, but in the end, they still had to die in her husband’s hands.
However, these were not important. Song Luan woke up thinking that she would hate him and would wish for him to die. However, her heart was calm like a spring of stagnant water.
She couldn’t even hate him.
Song Luan said lightly. “So that we won’t have any misunderstandings left…you shot the arrow yourself, didn’t you?”
She just wanted to make sure that she didn’t mean to settle accounts.
She only wanted to confirm that she really didn’t mean to settle old accounts.
Zhao Nanyu’s body suddenly froze. His limbs were cold. His fingertips trembled slightly under his wide sleeves. The blood color on his face faded and his lips turned white. He took a breath and tried to stabilize his figure. “It’s me.”
He killed her himself. There was no excuse.
When he held the bow and arrow, his hands didn’t even tremble. He was resolute and decisive as he cut off her life quickly.
Song Luan said: “It’s good that there is no misunderstanding.”
Compare with achieving the throne, killing a wife was nothing.
If the princess survived, she would be forced to give up her husband. A woman with pride like the little princess would never live a life of shame.
She had no family left, even if Zhao Nanyu did not kill her, she couldn’t live.
Song Luan thought this way. She felt she was magnanimous because she could still think things from Zhao Nanyu’s standpoint.
The man in front of her seemed to want to touch her–as he was about to stretch out his hand, he retracted it right away. He asked, his voice was hard and slow, “Do you hate me?”
Song Luan a little confused, then shook her head, “Do not hate ah.”
But she didn’t love him.
Doesn’t it take strength to hate someone?
After several years of entanglement, Song Luan felt tired. Love and hate were like floating clouds, and a light wind blew it away.
Song Luan pondered for a while, then slowly opened her mouth and said, “Zhao Nanyu, let me go.”
She wanted to live alone, free, and unrestrained.
Zhao Nanyu’s face suddenly paled. He buckled her wrist, and his eyes were cruel, “No.”
Song Luan blurted out, “But I don’t like you, and I won’t like you even in the future.”
She did not feel that her words could bring much pain to Zhao Nanyu.
What was it to spend the rest of her life with someone who would never like her? Song Luan did not understand, but she had never been able to understand Zhao Nanyu’sthinking.
It was he who killed his wife himself, and it was he who did not want to spend his life with her.
Man, it’s so cheap.
Sharp pain crawled from the sole of his foot to his head. Zhao Nanyu murmured to himself, “It doesn’t matter if you don’t love me.”
As long as she was around him, it was enough.
He didn’t want anything else.
It’s good to live like this for a lifetime.
It didn’t matter if there was no afterlife.
He could take it.
The child grinned and cried out loud while he slept on the bed.
When Song Luan heard the child’s cry, her heart softened. She gently held the child in her arms, coaxing him in a low voice, and completely ignoring the man in front of her.
After coaxing for a long time, the child’s crying did not lessen, and his face gradually reddened.
Song Luan had never raised a child before. Now she was in a panic and didn’t know what to do.
Zhao Nanyu said, “He may be hungry.” and reached out to her. “Give me the baby, I’ll take it to the nurse.”
Song Luan hugged the child in her arms and said, “I’ll feed him myself.”
In front of Zhao Nanyu, Song Luan didn’t know where her shame came from. Before taking off her clothes, she motioned him to look away, but Zhao Nanyu pretended he didn’t understand and was cheeky enough to stay.
Song Luan was embarrassed as she untied the placket of her clothes, and began to milk the baby.
She turned over and was reluctant to let Zhao Nanyu see her.
Song Luan looked down at the baby lovingly. Although the little one had not opened his eyes yet, she thought that her baby was very beautiful.
The baby slept again after he was full.
Song Luan was reluctant to put him down so she held him for a long time. The shadow of the candle swayed. She gently put the child on the bed, then she raised her face and slowly said to Zhao Nanyu, “I want to go back to the Song family for a while. What do you think?”
Of course, after going to the Song family, she would never come back.
Zhao Nanyu lowered his eyes, and his knuckled fingers held her wrist tightly. His voice was hoarse as it sounded a little gloomy, “Don’t even think about it.”
His distorted character would not change just because of his previous mistakes. He had a strong desire to control and his character of not letting go until he dies would forever stay with him.
Paranoid and stubborn.
His guilt was far from letting her go.
Song Luan was not surprised to get such an answer from his mouth, “Whatever you want.”
It didn’t matter how Zhao Nanyu is.
She also had two children.
Song Luan silently thought–maybe she liked Zhao Nanyu before, or she would not be so sad when he chose to kill her.
It’s not too bad to say that they had been sweet for those years, her deep love for him disappeared with that arrow.
Zhao Nanyu in this life was already an irrelevant person to Song Luan.
It would be great to leave him.
At first, little Zhao was very sad when he knew that it was a younger brother rather than a younger sister. After all, he had been looking forward to it for a long time, and always thought that his sister would look as lovely as his mother.
He would come to his mother’s room every day after school, and watch his brother seriously.
Little Zhao curiously asked, “Mother, why didn’t my brother’s eyes opened yet, is he not fond of me?”
Song Luan smiled back. “No. When you were a child, you were also like this. Wait for two more days, your brother’s eyes will open.”
Little Zhao nodded, “I understand. I’ll wait.”
He wanted to play with his brother.
The child didn’t have a name yet.
Song Luan rarely spoke with Zhao Nanyu, and when they talk, she would always talk about her children.
His stubbornness exceeded her imagination. Whenever Song Luan had time, she would occasionally remember the times he killed her.
She felt that she was miserable. She died again and again and fell into the hands of the same person.
She wanted to leave Zhao Nanyu. Why was she even thinking of this idea, she was still in Zhao Nanyu’s tree.
Zhao Nanyu never let go of her, and desire to leave was fruitless.
At dusk, he came back from the palace. Song Luan was holding the child while humming in a low voice. After she lulled the child to sleep, she had time to ask him, “You haven’t named him yet.”
Zhao Nanyu returned: “Let’s call him Zhao Shi.”
Song Luan had no opinion. This name was not bad, so she nodded, “Okay.”
Zhao Nanyu also said. “You give the child’s nickname.”
Song Luan was not a person who likes to use her brain. After a moment, she said, “Let’s call him Er Bao 1 Er in English means Second .”
The second baby…it was nice to hear and was easy to remember.
Song Luan gently pinched the small face of Er Bao, “Eat, sleep, then eat. You live the most comfortable life in this house ah.”
When Er Bao opened his eyes, the first person he saw was his father. His black eyes turned around. The baby with milk smell was still grinning before it suddenly cried out loud.
Little Zhao was mostly taken care of by Zhao Nanyu, so he knew how to take care of children.
He held the child in his arms skillfully and coaxed him gently.
Er Bao didn’t seem to like his father very much. He didn’t give any face and continued to cry loudly.
Hearing the sound, Song Luan ran to him and took the child from his hand.
As soon as Er Bao got to his mother’s arms, he stopped crying and laid on her stomach obediently.
Zhao Nanyu couldn’t help but curse in a low voice, “little brat.”
Er Bao was white and clean. He was very cute. He had some small flesh on his face and big eyes. He seldom cries, but whenever he was held by his father, he would often cry.
Song Luan had no resistance to the lovely baby, but could not tolerate Zhao Nanyu’s scolding.
“He is a brat because he got it from you,” she said
Zhao Nanyu responded generously, “Well, I am.”
Er Bao was only ten days old and slept for ten hours a day. When he was full, he would close his eyes. Only when he was in good spirits would he look at them nobly.
Zhao Nanyu’s hand gently put on her shoulder, speaking slowly, “For our child’s 100th day, who do you want to invite?”
Song Luan shook her head, “None.”
She only knew a few people.
Zhao Nanyu then asked, “Then who do you not want to invite?”
Song Luan wasn’t polite with him and said bluntly: “Your second aunt. I don’t like her.”
Zhao Nanyu said: “Then we won’t invite her.”
Er Bao was sleeping soundly in the cradle. Song Luan suddenly remembered something. She raised her eyes and looked straight at him. She asked, “In our previous life, I couldn’t get pregnant. Did you do it?”
Her tone was casual and didn’t seem to take it seriously.
Zhao Nanyu’s heart suddenly was stabbed out by her words again.
He said in a hoarse voice, “Yes, it’s me.”
The southwest king’s son and the little princess in a previous life were also childhood sweethearts. When she got married, she thought they were real lovers and never doubted her husband’s sincerity.
Song Luan’s eyes were a little hazy, she remembered that the girl in her dream seemed to cry many times because she could not bear a child.
Song Luan came back to her mind. She didn’t even think much about it. “You are bad.”
Then she put her hands on her chin and asked, “It’s not as bad as when you shot the arrow right?”
He had already killed her. Zhao Nanyu finally regretted it.
He endured the pain. “Let’s not talk about this, okay?”
“Well, if you don’t want me to talk about it, then I won’t.”
Song Luan had just given birth to a baby, and her chest was bulging. Her former clothes also seem to be a little small on her body, and her figure was vividly outlined.
For half a month, she had been eating some tonic ingredients. Song Luan looked rosy, and her body and bones looked more mellow than before.
Er Bao liked to sleep in her arms. Every time he slept, he always used his chubby little hands to pull the lapel of her chest. The baby didn’t have much strength, and he curled up fingers opened gently.
Song Luan’s whole attention was on the child, and her line of sight towards Zhao Nanyu was little.
And Zhao Nanyu now refused to swallow his anger in front of her, and couldn’t help but tell the nurse to carry the baby to another room.
Song Luan’s face was cold, and she met his gaze with an unhappy appearance, “What do you mean?”
Zhao Nanyu, who was dressed in black, stood more gloomy in the dark. He said slowly, “I’m afraid you’re tired. You don’t have to look after the child all day.”
Song Luan almost rolled her eyes at him, “I’m happy.”
Zhao Nanyu pinched her thin wrist bone, “I don’t like it. You won’t look at me.”
He suddenly bent down, his thin lips close to her white neck, “It’s fine that you don’t like me, but you can’t deliberately ignore me.”
After alienating him, she would leave.
Song Luan shrank back, and gave him a sweet smile, “I did not.”
She was indeed alienating him on purpose.
Song Luan even secretly wrote a letter to Aunt Lin while he was not at home. The letter clearly stated that she was going to bring two children back to Song’s residence.
She spent a lot of money to hire a person to send her letter, risking everything.
She calculated very well. On the day of Er Bao’s 100th day, she would escape under the crowds and Aunt Lin’s cover.
Zhao Nanyu didn’t want to blame others.
However, two days later, Zhao Nanyu took her letter that was supposedly be sent to Aunt Lin.
Zhao Nanyu’s face was still. He took out the envelope from his sleeve, put it on the table, and chuckled, “I taught you to write, you learned, and you used it.”
Song Luan faced him and said, “You taught well.”
Zhao Nanyu was calm and scary, “I will not let you leave.”
Song Luan was a little annoyed and said, “You’re so annoying. Is it interesting to force people out of their will? I’ve been killed several times, but I’m not you. Why don’t you let me go!? One of your victims hasn’t said anything, so can you spare me?”
Zhao Nanyu had probably turned crazy, his eyes flashing a dark light, and he step by step walked closer to her and said. “I will not let go.”
He was selfish and stubborn.
Zhao Nanyu laughed, “If you want to go, you can leave the child behind.”
Was she willing?
He knew she couldn’t give them up.
Zhao Nanyu did not use this kind of means to her before, and it was also unambiguous to use these unworthy means.
“Zhao Nanyu, do you know?
“I don’t hate you, I don’t love you.
“You are a stranger to me.
“Do you want to keep me here?”
All these words turned into a sharp sword that killed him bloodlessly, and a silent knife that wedged into his body.
“I want.” Zhao Nanyu said with a smile